Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
