Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize