you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
