my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
