I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
this will be a night to untag.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
