my soul wont recognize me after tonight
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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