so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
