I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize