did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
