i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
