new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
