There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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