Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
