If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
