i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
