I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
