I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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