doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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