you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
