one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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