Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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