maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
