just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize