P.S. I can't hear my feet
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
