I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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