You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize