sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
