fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
