Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
