Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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