my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
