so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
