yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
