drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
