i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
