This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
