Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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