I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
