my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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