when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
