I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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