finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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