We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
