When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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