May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
