so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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