you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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