cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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