is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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