Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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