How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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