you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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