Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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