Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize