The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
