i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
