"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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