So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I deserve this hangover.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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